It would make me happy if you could give some comments or advice on my drawing/art.
I would be happy if you could give me some comments or advice.
"イラストにコメントやアドバイスを下さると嬉しいです。"
直訳 = It would make me happy if you could give me some comments or advice on my drawing.
他
If you could leave a comment or some advice concerning my art, it would make me very happy!
イラストにコメントやアドバイスを下さるすごく嬉しいです。
Please leave some comments or advice! I look forward to reading them!
コメントやアドバイスを下さい！読むのを楽しみにしています！
アメリカ合衆国 
