「And finally, his long-time effort paid off, and his third comic work has gone well and obtained tremendous popularity.」というようにandをたくさん使った文章になってしまいました．andの代わりになるようなフレーズをご教授いただければ幸いです．
Finally, his long-time efforts have paid off. His third comic work has been well received, gaining tremendous popularity.
keigoさんの英文ですが、次のように言うともっと自然な感じになりますよ。
ーFinally, his long-time efforts have paid off. His third comic work has been well received, gaining tremendous popularity.
「~して...になり，○○となりました」は次のように表現すると良いかと思います。
ーI went to Washington, got a job with a big publishing firm, and made it all the way to the position of chief editor.
「私はワシントンに行って大手出版社で就職し、編集長にまで昇進した」
ご参考まで！
カナダ 
