"If you don't mind my asking, I would like to hear about your renumeration system."
- "If you don't mind my asking, I would like to hear about your renumeration system."
"if you don't mind my asking" 「差し支えなければ」
"I would like to hear about ~" 「〜を教えてもらえませんか」"I was wondering if you could tell me about ~" も使えます。
"your~" 「貴方の〜」
"renumeration system" 「報酬体系」”payment system" も使えます。
Could you tell me about your compensation structure, if you don't mind?
・Could you tell me about your compensation structure, if you don't mind?
が適切です。
"Could you" は「教えていただけますか?」という丁寧なお願い表現です。
"compensation structure" は「報酬体系」を指しています。
また、"if you don't mind" は「もし差し支えなければ」という意味合いです。